Beyond the Doubt
Cultivating Skills and Productivity in Pressing Seasons
===========================================
===========================================
In taking a change from what I usually write about I will say first hand that this economy is challenging.
I have always been a hard worker and I have striven to learn things and become more useful.
This includes getting IT certificates (A+ and working on CCNA), actually putting systems together and troubleshooting them.
Learning to write well and convey information verbally.
Diving right into mechanical problems and fixing them, usually cars or small engine type equipment.
Studying people and how to communicate better with them by being attentive in life to how they communicate, by reading books, listening to audio-books, watching videos on the subject, and etc.
Studying applicable psychology in order to understand, improve, and sooth myself; with the willingness to give advice within reason and wisdom to they who seek.
These are things I have and still pursuit because I desire to be useful, be of value to others, and of course make money.
Jobs are good, and they serve a purpose, but seldom are there positions anymore it feels like that a person can build a life on.
That’s the biggest reason I pursuit these things. I want to eventually have my own thing, because I can reap the benefit of the entire system.
I desire a family and a house; despite everything I still hold to the dream that I can actually one day have both.
I do feel that 2008 was a travesty for the value of the dollar, and for the pocket books of many in the world, not only America.
I never went to college because I didn’t want to incur the debt that so many drown in.
That system of debt is like cigarettes, you just keep doing it in order to try to get over the problems of the last time you did it, and it all goes the hell up in smoke. Not saying people never escape it, but the ones who are hooked indeed have a hell of a hamster wheel to step off of.
I’ve grown substantially in the past two years.
In overcoming issues of mind, and the habits that accompany some of them, I am passionately desiring to spread my wings, and not just expecting to only get by anymore.
In these past two years I have cultivated a practice of not isolating myself as I have in the past. I have cultivated a practice of at least pressing to act in the moments parts of me try to tell me to stay still in the solidarity of depression.
Depression can whitewash all that provides colors of joy to the potential and actual actions that we do, and often it can doubt that there is something beyond it when it has been burnt.
I yet choose to go beyond the doubt, detaching (or NOT attaching) from a narrative that is based on the assumption that the past cannot be escaped, that it is better just to give up and make due idly, provided there are pleasantries to absolve some of the shame from giving up (or at least trying to give up on the better self, and on the potential of the soul).
I realize that I have parts, or aspects that try to introduce sub-narratives of failure in my mind.
I am more than the past assumption that I had to accept compromise in relational integrity in order to have any chance of growing and multiplying in this world.
I am more than the past assumption that the world only has lesser people and things to offer and I should come down to their moral level in order to try to build something higher. It’s an understandable fallacy but indeed it is quite moronic.
To have higher standards for ourselves is something that is in fact respected at least by some, and they who hold to the value that is in these standards will see it in you, let it not be that you ever think you are not seen.
The corpus of the actions of your heart are in fact noticed by men. Loved by some unto righteousness, loved by some wrongly unto sin, and hated by some because it burns the comforts that they use to callous their souls from the convictions that they are morally or *something* wrong and suboptimal.
Just as is the nature of the Love of God.
I think of in this. Nietzsche’s concept of the will to power can surprisingly work in morality. It can be a framework for pressing on to the highest good, and at least not surrendering to the voices in our own hearts that would seek to detract us from our God-made potential, morally and practically.
Otherwise in the pursuit of excellence, to act and create with meaning, we risk bending the optics of the heart, the world views it has, along with the hopes that are valid in God (ἐλπὶς ἀμαράντινος).
Our own *will to power* indeed has its limits, and it is in us to will… but not necessarily to overcome *the spirit is willing yet the flesh is weak*.
However, even for what is called the flesh some drives seem to cut through the fog and thick mud of meritocratic temptations that seek to hold us back.
τὸ καλὸν τέλος τοῦ πράγματος (the good end of the matter)
is this: our more primal self (my own primal self for sure) will seek to hold itself back for the reasons of comfort, conformity, and for safety * and for this the part indeed is not wrong*.
For some the desire to have the image of power overriding the very nature of autonomy, where the universe manifested from the mind of ones life becomes their universe (solipsism).
For others they just have a drive to create and share in the throne of the divine because their nature demands it.
It is indeed possible for a person to appreciate the righteousness and *καλὸς κἀγαθός* of the Holy Divine even if the name of the fixture in question is not known explicitly.
As for me I know the Name (ὄνομα) and character that I vouch and strive for in the midst of all of my actions, and I seek to fulfill the greatest Good’s (God’s) desire of me in that which I do.
I know that indeed their are some in the world who press to the highest good that can be striven for.
This for me is the journey and life path of going *beyond the doubt*, and this is the way for others to go…
Beyond the doubt.
